


After The Storm

by Silvaimagery



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: AU, Angst, Bonding, Coercion, Drama, Episode Reference, F/M, Falling In Love, Hurt/Comfort, Jealousy, M/M, Mind Meld, Possessiveness, Romance, dark!Spock, non-con touching and kissing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-14
Updated: 2015-04-22
Packaged: 2018-03-22 22:35:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 13,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3746161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silvaimagery/pseuds/Silvaimagery
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Leonard is accidentally transported aboard a completely shit crazy version of the Enterprise where he not only learns that Spock can be a whole lot scarier but that the pointy eared bastard means a lot more to him than he thought.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I saw ‘Mirror, Mirror’ and I got the idea for this fic. I’m also curious to know what exactly Spock saw in Bones’s mind that made him change sides.

“McCoy here.”

“Bones, we have to get back to the ship. The magnetic storm is getting stronger.”

I sigh.

We had beamed down so that Jim could try to convince the Halkan council to let us mine for dilithium crystals.

Not that I knew or cared what these magical crystals were for but Scotty seemed excited.

And I was not completely sure why Jim wanted me to come down with them. This really was not my area.

Maybe he wanted me to stop being scared of the transporter?

Not that that was ever going to happen.

That thing was a death trap.

So while Jim and Scotty tried to convince the Halkan’s to give us mining rights, I had wandered away to look at the plants.

One of the Halkan’s that had followed me was telling me all about the healing properties of some of the plants.

A few were very interesting and I knew Spock would like to experiment on some of them.

Damn Jim for making be friendly with the green blooded bastard. Now I was picking plants for the hobgoblin to entertain himself with.

“I’ll be right behind you.” I say into my communicator.

“Bones.”

“I get it, Jim. I’ll be a minute behind you, promise.”

He sighs.

“Fine. But it better be a minute or I’m writing you up.”

“You do that. Just remember that I’ve always got hypos with your name on them.”

He laughs.

“Alright. I’ll see you in sixty seconds.”

I close my comm and finish collecting plant and soil samples.

Spock better be damn happy with the things I had collected.

I thank the Halkan for helping me before contacting the Enterprise.

I jump as the thunder becomes louder and the lighting becomes more frequent.

It was time to get out of here.

“Alright, beam me up.”

I close my eyes as I am beamed aboard.

Once I feel solid ground beneath my feet again, I blink my eyes open.

“Holy shit! Spock…Spock is that you?”

He stares back at me, a dark glint in his eyes.

I cannot stop staring at his unshaven face.

It was so ridiculous yet…fascinating.

He comes closer to the platform.

“Doctor McCoy. This is a surprise.” He says arching an eyebrow.

“That’s an understatement. How long was I gone? How fast do you grow facial hair?”

He grabs my arm in a vice grip and pulls me down from the platform.

“Hey!”

“Silence. You will come with me.”

“What the hell, Spock?”

His hand tightens painfully around my arm and I wince.

“I said silence.”

“Yeah, alright. Take it easy.”

He leads me out of the transporter room and towards the lift.

He pushes me inside.

I stare at his profile.

Still the same hobgoblin, just bitchier and with a scruffy beard.

I shake my head and instantly regret it.

I drop the samples I had brought aboard with me as I grab my head.

Everything was spinning.

I put a hand out to support myself against the wall.

The lift stops and the doors open.

Spock grabs my upper arm again and pulls me along.

My legs give out from under me and I fall on my hand and knees.

“Get up.”

“Just give me a second, damn it.”

I close my eyes.

Rough hands force me to my feet.

“You will do as I say and when I say it.”

I open my eyes to glare at the Vulcan.

“Fuck you, Spock.”

He backhands me and I fall to the floor again.

My mouth hurts like a son of a bitch and my eyes water.

I press the back of my hand to my bleeding mouth.

He lifts me again and presses me hard against the wall.

I groan as my back hits it.

I look at him.

“You will find that things are very different here, Doctor.”

“I’m starting to see that.”

“Good. It will be in your best interest if you do exactly as I say.”

This time I keep my mouth shut.

He nods in satisfaction before grabbing my arm and leading me into his quarters.

I shake off his hand and move to the bathroom to wipe the blood off of me.

He follows me.

“Can’t I have some privacy?” I ask glaring at him through the mirror.

“No.”

I shake my head and rinse out my mouth before grabbing a hand towel and pressing it against my bleeding lip.

Spock crowds me against the sink.

I try to squirm away but his hands hold my hips in place.

I lift my gaze to meet his in the mirror.

He turns me so that we are facing each other.

“It has been four years since last I saw you.”

“Who the hell are you and how did I end up here?”

“I am Spock.”

“No, you’re not. You’re not my Spock.”

His hand closes around my throat, just holding not squeezing.

Yet.

I swallow convulsively.

“I must admit that I have missed you.”

He presses his face closer.

There was nowhere for me to go.

“How nice.” I say sarcastically.

His lips brush my temple.

“Yes.”

His hand leaves my throat and I breathe a sigh of relief.

He lifts his hand towards my face.

I lean my head away but his hand follows.

“Do not fight it. It will be less painful for you.”

He places his fingertips on my face.

I grab his wrist.

“What are you doing?”

“Do not concern yourself with it, Doctor McCoy.”

“Spock.”

“It will be faster this way.”

“Please, don’t.”

“Our minds are merging, they are one. I feel what you feel, I know what you know.”

I gasp as I am assaulted by memories.

_I can see Jim kill Pike and become Captain of the Enterprise._

_I can see myself at Jim’s side. I was his ever faithful and loyal servant._

_In time I made Jim soft._

_I made him human again._

_I convinced him not to destroy a planet and he listened to me._

_Spock gave Jim an ultimatum, destroy or be destroyed._

_Jim chose to ignore the order given by Starfleet, to ignore Spock’s threat._

_Spock attacks Jim on the bridge in front of everyone._

_I can feel the hands around Jim’s throat._

_I can see and feel my friend’s life slip away._

_I tried to stop Spock but the crew members held me back._

_I screamed and pleaded but Spock didn’t care._

_Finally, Spock opens his hands and Jim’s lifeless body falls onto the floor._

_I screamed and screamed until I couldn’t anymore._

_Spock steps over Jim’s body and takes the Captain’s chair._

_I took Jim’s body in my arms while Spock’s dark eyes stared down at me devoid of any emotion._

_That night Spock comes to my quarters and I have no choice but to submit to him._

_Two years I spent at Spock’s side until Sulu decided he wanted a higher position._

_He killed me to get to Spock but his plan didn’t work._

_In the end, Spock killed Sulu._

_It was the most logical decision._

_In private, he mourns the loss of his t’hy’la._

_In front of the crew, he is an unmovable force to be reckoned with. ___

__I am forced back to the present time and I cry out._ _

__I can still feel Jim’s lifeless body under my hands._ _

__I sob uncontrollably._ _

__“Leonard.”_ _

__He reaches a hand out towards me._ _

__I scramble away._ _

__“Don’t touch me you…monster!”_ _

__“Control yourself.”_ _

__He grabs my shoulders._ _

__I shove him away from me and I run into the room, intent on escaping his quarters but he grabs me around the waist and pulls me back against his body._ _

__I fight to get out of his hold._ _

__“It will pass.”_ _

__“You killed my friend!”_ _

__“He was a killer, just like me.”_ _

__“It’s not true.”_ _

__“It is true.”_ _

__“Let go of me!”_ _

__I scratch at his hand and he releases me._ _

__I turn to look at him, making sure to back away._ _

__“Those things that happened, it was not your Jim Kirk that I killed. Just like it was not you I possessed.”_ _

__“Send me back.”_ _

__“My apologies Doctor but that will not be possible.”_ _

__“Of course it is! Just send me back.”_ _

__He walks closer._ _

__“As I said, that will not be possible.”_ _

__“Why not?”_ _

__“Because I intend to keep you.”_ _

__“You can’t do that. Spock!”_ _

__“Indeed I can and I intend to. I have missed you.”_ _

__“I am not your Leonard McCoy.”_ _

__“Not yet but you will be. I suggest you get some rest, I will be back in a while. Please do not try to leave as I can assure you that there is nowhere on this ship that I cannot find you. We are one now, I will always know where you are.”_ _

__He presses a hard kiss to my mouth before leaving._ _

__I sink down to my knees._ _

__What was I supposed to do now?_ _


	2. Chapter 2

I wake up to the feeling of fingers caressing the back of my thigh.

I blink my eyes open.

Spock is sitting beside me on the bed, his face is blank but his fingers do not stop touching me.

I shift away and roll onto my back.

He rests his hand on my thigh.

“You were dreaming of being aboard your own Enterprise.” He says conversationally.

“Yeah.” I say sitting up.

I stand and make my way to the bathroom.

I wash my face before pressing my hands to the vanity and lowering my head.

I squeeze my eyes shut.

“Please just let this all be a bad dream.” I whisper to myself.

“I assure you that it is not.” Spock says.

I turn away and I move to the toilet to pee.

He can stand there and watch if he wants.

He had already seen the McCoy of this universe in all his glory.

Once I am finished I tuck myself back into my pants and move back to the sink to wash my hands.

“I have brought you something to eat.”

“I don’t want it.”

“I will not allow you to starve yourself.”

I turn to glare at him.

“Then hold me down and force the food down my throat.”

He comes closer and I back away.

“It will do you no good to resist, Leonard.”

“Why? Because you’re just going to mind fuck me until I do whatever you want?”

“Precisely.”

His eyes look black and there is an unnatural glint in them.

I shiver and cross my arms over my chest.

What I wouldn’t give to have the Spock from my timeline here instead of this psychotic Vulcan.

We might not be best friends but at least I knew he would be on my side and would do anything to protect me and get us back home.

Spock stands before me and I can feel the heat his body is emitting.

His lips curl into a smile and I shrink away.

“I think it is best that your Spock is not here. I would have killed him the moment he came aboard my ship. Besides, there cannot be two of us in the same reality.”

My Spock would have given this bastard a run for his money.

“Yeah, right. It wouldn’t be the first time that two pointy eared bastards existed in the same universe.”

He frowns.

“Meaning what?”

I press my lips together.

The one time I should have kept my mouth shut.

He puts his fingers on my face.

I squeeze my eyes shut and try to block him.

“You do not have the necessary skill to shield your memories from me.” He says.

I can feel him in my head.

It’s like my memories are in a picture book and I can feel him riffling through the pages, getting to the right one.

“I see.” He says removing his hand.

I look at him.

“The fact that there are two Spock’s in your own timeline is different.”

“How?”

“Come and eat and I will explain.” He says holding out his hand.

I look at his hand before looking at him.

“And if I refuse?”

He lowers his hand.

“Then I will force you to preform the actions and you won’t be able to stop yourself from complying with my demands. It’s your choice.”

He goes back into the other room and after a moment of hesitation, I follow.

I take my seat across from him at his desk.

He studies me as I take small bites of the pasta dish he had brought me.

“You said you would explain the difference between two Spock’s living in my reality and two Spock’s living here.”

“Elder Spock did not come from an alternate reality. He is from the same time line merely from the future. I am not. It is not possible for two people from different realities to live in the same space without one or both becoming ill.”

“I don’t understand.”

Damn him, this conversation was actually interesting.

“In simple terms, when two similar being from alternate realities inhabit the same space we begin to cancel each other out. We begin to break down at the cellular level.”

“So you just start to die?”

“That is correct.”

“And there is no way to stop or reverse the process?”

“There have not been any significant or conclusive studies made since there would not be enough time to conduct the experiment. The process of decay begins the second the two beings come in contact with each other.”

“Huh. So because both Spock’s from my timeline are technically the same person then they can survive in the same universe.”

“Indeed.”

“That is so weird.”

His lips quirk for a second.

“I hope you found your dinner satisfying.” He says taking my empty plate and taking it back to the replicator.

I hadn’t even realized I had finished it all.

“Yeah, thanks.”

He inclines his head.

“I still have my Leonard’s clothes so feel free to use it.”

“Alright. Thanks.”

I grab some fresh clothes and go to the bathroom.

I needed a hot shower and something for this headache.

When I get out, Spock is sitting at his desk looking at something in his PADD.

I make my way to the bed and lie down.

I curl under the covers and close my eyes.

I wake with a start as a body presses against my back.

“What are you doing?”

“Go to sleep.”

“I was sleeping until you woke me up.”

He holds me tight, his breathing deep and even.

I close my eyes again.

It was harder to fall asleep now that I knew he was snuggling me.

His fingers touch my temple and I jump.

My headache recedes.

“Why are you helping me? I would have thought that you would like it if I suffered.”

“You do not know me.”

I snort.

“The things you showed me speak pretty clearly of the things you do and who you are.”

“Not with you.”

“I am not your Leonard.”

“Not yet.”

“Not ever.”

He presses a kiss to the back of my neck.

“Go to sleep.” He orders.

I squeeze my eyes shut.

_I have failed you once ashayam, I will not fail you again. ___

__I stare at the wall for the majority of the night._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I mostly used information that I remember from Stargate.


	3. Chapter 3

I push at Spock’s chest but he is unmovable.

His hands slip lower and cup my ass.

I manage to tear my mouth from his.

“Spock.”

He presses me closer and I can feel his hardness rub against my thigh.

“Get off of me.”

“I have missed your touch, ashayam.”

“Get off of me, Spock. God damn it!”

He nips my neck and I shiver.

Damn the bastard.

Oh, his mouth felt good.

He had learned all my hotspots and he knew how to use them to his advantage.

He licks down to my collarbone.

Desire spreads all over my body and I start sweating.

Images of our naked bodies moving in a dance of passion flash in my head and I bite my lip to keep my moan in.

He moves his tongue up my throat.

I curl my hands into his uniform.

This time when he kisses me, I kiss him back.

Oh shit, this Vulcan knew how to kiss in a lewd way.

He fucks my mouth with his tongue and I pull him back in as he tries to pull away.

He moans and tightens his arms around me.

He leads me back to the bed and presses me down into the mattress.

I pull up his uniform shirt, trying to get to his hot skin.

“Bridge to Captain Spock.”

He breaks the kiss.

“No. Don’t stop. Just ignore it.” I say pulling his face back down to mine.

“Bridge to Captain Spock.”

He sighs before moving off of me and walking to the intercom.

“Get back here!”

He smirks back at me. 

“Captain Spock here.”

I put my arm over my eyes and try to control myself.

What the fuck was happening to me?

I had been seconds away from letting that bastard have his dirty way with me.

I sit up and fix my shirt.

“I will be there momentarily.” Spock says before turning to look at me. “I am needed on the bridge. There are uniforms you may change into.” He says fixing his uniform.

“I’m not wearing the stupid sash.”

He smiles and walks over to me.

“It’s alright. I am sure we will make use of it later.”

An image of me naked and tied up floats through my mind.

Shit.

Spock gives another filthy kiss before leaving.

I really hated that pointy eared bastard.

*************************

Three months.

Three months I had been stuck in this alternate reality.

My days followed a pretty easy routine: I got up, had breakfast with Spock and then I would go to sickbay where I stayed all day (Spock would bring me lunch) before joining Spock for dinner.

It also became pretty clear that I was to share a room with the Vulcan no matter how much I protested.

Not that I protested much after he showed me all the kinds of things he could do to my body with that tongue of his.

I was starting to get used to my life aboard this Enterprise.

As long as I followed orders, I lived another day.

I knew Jim was looking for me and it was only a matter of time before Scotty figured out what had happened to me.

I just had to wait it out.

Not that Spock was any help.

He was still mum about how I came to be aboard this ship in this reality.

Still, he was a very good cuddler.

And for some reason, knowing he was there made me feel safe.

I know it was going to be hell for me when I got back to my own reality but I would cross that bridge when I came to it.

Because I would go back.

I had to.

I sigh and rub my eyes.

Sickbay was so quiet.

Chapel wasn’t around in this universe.

Which kind of made sense.

She was a good person and would not have been alright with killing people.

I didn’t speak with any of the crewmembers.

It was too weird, especially knowing that they could try to kill me.

Again.

So I kept to myself and Spock filled me in on the comings and goings.

Speaking of Spock.

That damn hobgoblin was late bringing me lunch.

I look at the clock again before continuing to go over the crews charts.

The doors to my office opens and I look up.

I stare at Spock.

“Come with me. Now.” He says urgently.

I get up.

“Are you alright?”

“Right now, hurry.”

He holds out his hand and I take it.

He leads me out of sickbay and into the lift.

He was holding himself stiffly.

“Spock.” I say touching his arm.

He turns and looks at me.

“What’s going on?”

“There has been an incident.”

“Incident?”

“It seems that your presence has caused some of the staff to rebel.”

“What?”

“I must send you back to your own timeline.”

“But you said it was impossible to send me back.”

“I know what I said.”

“You lied to me? You bastard!”

I punch his chest and he grabs my forearms.

“Listen to me! I can recreate the surge of power created by the ion storm. It will send you back to your own universe. But we must make haste.”

I nod and he releases my arms.

“How can you be sure you will be sending me back to my timeline?”

“You’re going to have to trust me, Leonard.”

The lift doors open and a member of security jumps on Spock, dragging him out of the lift.

They fight before the security guy pulls out his phaser and stuns Spock.

Holy fuck.

Spock falls.

The guy looks at me.

It takes me a second to react.

I grab Spock’s phaser and shoot the security guy.

He drops and I crouch next to Spock.

“Spock?”

I pat his cheek and he opens his eyes.

“Thank you.”

“Sure.”

He stands and I touch his bleeding mouth.

He takes my hand.

“We must hurry.”

“What are you going to do?”

“After I have sent you back I will try to subdue the rebellion. If I am unable to, I will destroy the ship.”

“What? But all the crew members-”

“Do not concern yourself, Doctor. This is not your reality. Soon you will be safe.”

“Spock.”

I follow him into the transporter room which is suspiciously empty.

He goes to the machine and starts moving controls around.

“Go on. Get on the landing pad.”

“I can’t let you kill all these people.”

“It is not your choice to make.”

“Damn it, Spock!”

He looks at me.

“All that matters right now is that you get back to your own universe. Please do not make this harder than it has to be.”

I should be happy that I was leaving this damn ship.

But something in my stomach twisted at the thought of leaving Spock behind.

I cup his face.

“Come with me.”

“I have already explain why that is not possible.”

“I am sure we could figure something out.”

“Negative.”

“Spock.”

“Just do as I say!”

Don’t you cry Leonard McCoy.

I blink away my tears.

He grasps my wrists.

“Do not cry ashal-veh.”

“I should hate you. I should be happy that you might die but all I want is to stay with you.”

“We are bound together in mind and spirit. You cannot be glad of my demise because I am a part of you.”

“I should hate you for that too.”

“Forgive me ashaya. I was selfish and now you must live with the consequences of my actions.”

I frown.

What was he talking about?

He grabs my face and kisses me.

I kiss him back just as hard.

He breaks the kiss and places his fingers over my meld points.

I hold on to his wrist.

“Parted from me and never parted. Never and always touching and touched.”

“Always.” I whisper.

I hug him.

He releases me and I force myself to walk up to the platform.

I am surprised to see tears in his eyes.

I wanted to go to him and comfort him.

I couldn’t leave him like this.

I clench my hands.

He activates the transporter.

“Spock.”

He raises his hand in the Vulcan salute.

“Live long and prosper, my beloved.”

The last thing I see is Spock being attacked by six crewmembers.

“SPOCK!”

“God almighty. Captain! Captain, you need to come to the transporter room immediately!”

I fall to my hands and knees.

I felt like my head was being split open and I couldn’t breathe.

I cry out.

My heart was being torn out of me.

“Spock!”

I clench my eyes closed.

I can hear people around me but I can’t concentrate on anything but the pain eating me alive.

I fall onto my back.

Darkness claws at me and I let it take me down.


	4. Chapter 4

I groan.

“Bones!”

I wince.

My head still felt like it was being ripped apart.

“Sorry.” He whispers.

Sorrow overwhelms me.

He was gone.

I cover my face as I start weeping uncontrollably.

It was embarrassing but I couldn’t stop.

“Bones? M’Benga!”

I can feel Jim trying to comfort me but his words don’t mean anything.

_Spock. ___

__There was a gaping void in my head and in my heart._ _

__I just wanted to curl up and die._ _

__“Leonard. Tell me what is wrong.” M’Benga says._ _

__I try to speak but I can’t._ _

__“You’re scaring me.” Jim says._ _

__“He’s…he’s gone.”_ _

__“Who? Who is gone, Bones?”_ _

__I squeeze my eyes shut._ _

__“Does anything hurt?” M’Benga asks._ _

__“My head.”_ _

__He scans me before injecting me with a painkiller._ _

__It wasn’t going to work._ _

__I don’t know how I knew, I just did._ _

__Nothing could help me._ _

__My heart starts beating faster and I felt like I was suffocating._ _

__“Leonard, I need you calm down.” M’Benga instructs._ _

__He touches my arm and it physically hurts._ _

__I shove him away._ _

__“I have to get out! I can’t stay here.”_ _

__I sit up and push back the covers._ _

__“Leonard.” M’Benga says._ _

__I stumble as I get out of bed._ _

__“Bones, I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to leave.”_ _

__I can hear M’Benga calling for backup._ _

__I shove the tray with instruments and hypos at him._ _

__He ducks behind one of the beds._ _

__That should buy me some time._ _

__Jim blocks the exit._ _

__“Get out of the way, kid.”_ _

__“I can’t let you leave. You’re not in your right mind.”_ _

__Of course I wasn’t._ _

__My husband has just died._ _

__The least they could do was let a man grieve in private._ _

__I punch Jim in the chest._ _

__He doubles over and I take the opportunity._ _

__I run out of sickbay._ _

__“Bones!”_ _

__I was so happy that my room was on Deck 5 close to sickbay._ _

__“Bones!”_ _

__I get into my room and lock the door._ _

__No matter how much he tried he would not be able to get in here._ _

__I back away from the door._ _

__I start shaking uncontrollably._ _

__I turn up the thermostat before falling into bed._ _

__It felt cold without Spock beside me._ _

__“Spock.” I whisper._ _

__I can hear Jim pounding on the door._ _

__I press my hands to my ears and I squeeze my eyes shut._ _

__There wasn’t anything anyone could do._ _

__In a couple of days I would be dead._ _

__***************************_ _

__Spock POV_ _

__I almost stumble as I get to sickbay._ _

__I hold on to the wall._ _

__“Doctor.” I say._ _

__“Commander.”_ _

__He looks disheveled._ _

__“Has something transpired?”_ _

__It was getting harder to breathe._ _

__I put a hand to my chest._ _

__“Doctor McCoy has been return to the ship.”_ _

__I frown._ _

__“We were not aware of the Doctors location. How could he have been returned?”_ _

__“I can’t explain right now. The Captain has called a meeting.”_ _

__“Very well.”_ _

__“Actually, Commander, I have a few questions.”_ _

__“Perhaps I can answer them at a later date.” I gasp._ _

__I close my eyes as the room tilts precariously to the left._ _

__I can feel perspiration break out over my skin._ _

__“Mister Spock?”_ _

__“Just give me a moment.”_ _

__I regulate my breathing._ _

__I can hear the whirl of a tricorder as Doctor M’Benga scans me._ _

__I look at him._ _

__“I am better now.”_ _

__“What is going on?”_ _

__“I began to experience an onslaught of deep emotional distress and I was unable to block it. I began feeling dizzy and sick to my stomach.”_ _

__I needed to sit down._ _

__I make my way over to a bed and take a seat._ _

__“Have you experienced such emotions before?”_ _

__“Once before, yes.”_ _

__“When was that?”_ _

__“During the destruction of Vulcan.”_ _

__Saying it still caused me emotional pain._ _

__“I don’t understand.” M’Benga says._ _

__“I lost both my mother and my mate, not to mention the other thousands of lives that were lost that day. The bonds were broken unexpectedly. It is natural to feel emotional and physical pain.”_ _

__He stares at me._ _

__“What did you say?”_ _

__I frown._ _

__“Doctor, perhaps I should be asking if you are well.”_ _

__“No, no. I’m fine but I think I’ve figured it out.”_ _

__“May I inquire as to what exactly you have figured out?”_ _

__“Tell me about the emotional and physical pain you had at the destruction of your home planet.”_ _

__It was a most illogical request as it did not pertain to the situation._ _

__“You misunderstand. I symptoms I experienced today were not my own.”_ _

__“He became very emotional. The weeping and the aggression.” He mutters to himself._ _

__“Doctor, of whom do you speak?”_ _

__He looks at me._ _

__“Leonard.”_ _

__“Doctor McCoy?”_ _

__“It is possible he is experiencing a broken bond.”_ _

__I feel alarmed to hear that._ _

__The doctor and I were not exactly friends but we tolerated each other better than we had at the start of our five year mission._ _

__One could say I had grown used to his presence and his sentimentality._ _

__If Doctor McCoy was suffering from a broken bond then immediate action was necessary._ _

__“Tell me exactly how you came to this conclusion.”_ _


	5. Chapter 5

Spock POV

“If his captors forced a bond upon Doctor McCoy to keep him subdued, then it is possible that he is now suffering the effect of it.” I say. “We must get him to New Vulcan immediately.”

“I agree with Spock.” Jim says.

“I have to monitor him. We can’t leave him to his own devices.” M’Benga says.

“He will not be amiable to intrusion.”

In the volatile emotional state he was is, McCoy could potentially cause harm to any who approached him.

Especially since he had sequestered himself in his quarters.

Any unauthorized presence would enrage him further.

“I agree with M’Benga, we can’t let Leonard stay locked away. He could hurt himself.” Nyota states.

“Bones wouldn’t do that.”

“He is grieving, Captain. He is not in his right mind.” M’Benga reminds him.

“Then what do you suggest?” Jim asks.

“Why can’t we send the Commander in there?” Mister Scott asks.

I look at him.

“What do you mean?” Jim asks.

“Well, Leonard was screaming for Spock. It is possible that that is who he was bonded to.”

“And he did say that ‘he is gone’.” M’Benga adds.

It filled me with anger to know that someone had made the Doctor believe I was his mate.

“Perhaps he will feel better once he realizes that Spock isn’t gone.” Sulu adds.

“You mean trick him?” Jim frowns.

“It could work. At least it would buy us some time until we reach New Vulcan.” M’Benga says.

Jim looked unconvinced.

“Captain, if I may.”

“Go ahead Spock. What have you got?”

“If I may be of some comfort to Doctor McCoy while we arrive to New Vulcan then I would be glad to be of assistance.”

He nods.

“Alright. And see if you can find out more of where he was and with who.”

“Yes, Captain.”

“Good. Now how the hell are we going to get Spock into Bones’s quarters? I knew I shouldn’t have shown him how to jam the door mechanism. Damn it.”

“Leave that to me, Captain.” Mister Scott says.

***************************

I gasp and I sit up.

“Spock!”

“I am here.”

Spock stands from the desk and comes towards me.

It was not my Spock.

“What the hell are you doing here?”

“I have come ascertain that you are well.”

“Get out.”

Just looking at him made me feel worse.

“Doctor M’Benga seems to be under the impression that you are suffering the effects of a broken bond.”

I start shivering.

“I said get out!”

“There is no need for you to become overemotional.”

Overemotional.

I throw the glass of water by my bedside at his head.

He ducks.

“Get out I said!”

“You must calm yourself.”

“Fuck you, Spock.”

My teeth start chattering.

I get up and turn up the thermostat to ninety before grabbing another blanket to cover myself with.

Why was it so cold in here?

“If you are suffering from a broken bond then it must be closed. Otherwise you might die.”

I hug myself.

“Doctor McCoy.”

I look at him and once my eyes made contact with his, I couldn’t look away.

“Spock.” I whisper.

He comes closer and all I wanted to do was to fall in his arms.

“If I may?”

I nod.

He places his hands on my covered arms and rubs them.

I close my eyes.

“Leonard.”

I couldn’t stop the tears.

The sound of his voice.

I turn away and wipe my face.

“I did have a bond.”

“With a Vulcan.”

“Yeah.”

It hurt to think of the other Spock.

I walk back to my bed.

“He’s dead.”

“How can you be certain?” He asks.

“I just know it.”

“It is possible that he is still alive but the link between your minds has been temporarily severed due to the distance.”

I shake my head.

Even is Spock was still alive, there was no way we would ever be together again.

He could not come here to my universe and I could not live in his.

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Leonard.” He says again.

I fall seated on the bed as I start weeping.

I couldn’t stop.

It was as if the floodgates had broken open.

After a few minutes he sits down beside me and puts a hand on my shoulder.

I hug him.

I just needed to feel his body and his warmth.

Just for a moment.

He puts his hand on my back and I can feel the heat of his body warm me.

“He’s gone.”

He doesn’t say anything.

I wipe my face and look at him.

“In the beginning, I wanted it to be you there with me instead of him.”

He inclines his head.

“I would gladly have shared the venture with you.”

“Thanks, Spock.”

“I can help to ease the pain you are feeling.”

He slowly moves his hand towards my face and I grab his wrist.

“Do it. Please.”

He places his fingertips on my meld points and I close my eyes.

His presence in my head made me feel better, like I wasn’t drowning anymore.

I latch on to that feeling.

I didn’t want to feel alone in my head again.

My pain becomes duller and I don’t feel like dying anymore.

I sigh.

I can feel him riffling through my memories.

He removes his hand and I open my eyes.

“We are on our way to New Vulcan. The Healers will help with the broken bond.”

I nod.

“We are still 12.6 days away from New Vulcan. In the meant time perhaps I can be of assistance.”

“How?”

“I will form a temporary bond with you.”

Oh god yes.

“Do you think that’s wise?”

“I wouldn’t have offered if I did not think it was the best available action.”

“Alright then.”

I tremble as I watch him reach out again and I stare into his eyes as I feel his mind connect with mine.

His dark eyes stare back at me.

His mind is not as open to me the way alternate Spock’s mind had been but I still get a whisper of his thoughts and emotions.

He was concerned and angry on my behalf.

Tears sting my eyes again.

I send gratitude through our link.

He removes his fingers and lowers his hand.

“You should rest now.”

I nod.

The void I had felt in my heart and in my mind was gone.

“I will come back at a later time if you are amiable.”

“Sure.”

***************************

Spock POV

It was strange to feel another’s presence in my mind.

Though T’Pring and I had been bonded for a few years, her mind had never been as open to me as Leonard’s was now.

It was….comforting.

A strange feeling when compared to McCoy’s gruff outward appearance.

I can feel Leonard sleep, the weariness and the pain melting from his body and his mind.

“Spock?”

I look up at Nyota as she stands before me.

She smiles at me and touches the back of my hand with her finger.

I move my hand away.

“It is lunch time. Join me?”

I stand.

“I need to speak with the Captain and then I will go and see Doctor McCoy.”

“Alright. I’ll see you later then?”

“You shall.”

She smiles again.

“Okay.”

She kisses my cheek before walking away.

It was an illogical feeling but I could not stop myself from being ashamed for allowing Nyota’s intimate touch when my mind was connected to another’s.

McCoy and I were not formally bonded but he had accepted to meld his mind to mine.

On Vulcan, mind melds such as this was a sign of trust; a sign of mutual respect and love.

Leonard touches our bond, unconsciously seeking assurance.

I caress our bond and he settles back into a deep sleep.

It would be wise to inform Nyota of this meld.

I would not be able to continue a romantic relationship with her until my bond with Leonard was dissolved.

I walk over to Jim.

“Mister Spock.”

“I must speak with you.”

“Very well.”

I follow him to his ready room.

“Shoot.”

“I have spoken with Doctor McCoy.”

“Was he mad that you were in his room?”

“He was.”

“And? How is he?”

“He was very distraught.”

He nods.

“I suggested we melded until we reach New Vulcan.”

“Are you sure that’s best?”

“It will not cause him anymore harm.”

“Good. How was he when you left him?”

“His grief has lessen considerably and his psychological state has improved.” 

“Thank god. Did you find out where he was?”

“I did. He was on an alternate reality. The circumstances were not pleasant.”

“Fuck.”

He sits down.

“I also ascertained that I was the cause of his pain.”

“We figured as much.”

“My alternate counterpart originally formed the bond to keep McCoy under control, at least that is what he told the doctor.”

Jim looks at me.

“But you don’t think that’s why he did it.”

“I do not. Through their broken bond I perceived an echo of the other Spock’s deep feelings for Leonard. However, I do believe they were directed at McCoy’s counterpart and not actually towards our Doctor McCoy.”

“So alternate Spock had feelings for alternate Bones and he was just substituting our Bones for his?”

“That is correct, Captain.”

“Shit. I think I’m getting a headache just trying to wrap my head around it.”

“I also believe that my counterpart transferred these feelings onto our Doctor McCoy and now he believes himself to be in love with alternate Spock.”

“Bones is in love with alternate Spock?”

“He was forced to feel this way, yes.”

“That son of a bitch made Bones fall in love with him? And then he sends him back to die of a broken bond? If he’s not dead I sure as hell want to make sure he is.”

“Illogical as we cannot possibly recreate the anomaly that led Doctor McCoy to be transferred to an alternate reality.”

“It’s just an expression, Spock.”

“I see.”

“This whole thing is fucked up. Poor Bones. How the hell am I supposed to cheer him up after the shit he’s been through?”

“I am going to go and check on him now. Perhaps you should come and see him. I believe your presence will comfort him more than mine.”

“Do you think he will be okay with that?”

“As I have stated, he is better now that we have bonded.”

“Sure. I’d like to see him for myself.”

“Very well.”


	6. Chapter 6

_Parted from me and never parted. Never and always touching and touched._

_Leonard. ___

__I open my eyes._ _

__Spock is bent over me._ _

__I sit up and he rights himself._ _

__“What’s going on?”_ _

__“How do you feel?”_ _

__“I feel fine.”_ _

__“Fine is not a suitable response.”_ _

__I roll my eyes._ _

__“I’m better, thank you.” I say sarcastically._ _

__“Good. Jim has come to visit you.”_ _

__I stand._ _

__There was no sign of Jim._ _

__“Where is he?” I frown._ _

__“I asked him to wait outside.”_ _

__Smart._ _

__“Thanks.”_ _

__He opens his mouth but thinks better of it._ _

__I can feel his indecision._ _

__“What?”_ _

__“That phrase you just said. Did he tell you that?”_ _

__“Yeah.”_ _

__“I see.”_ _

__I open the door and Jim comes in._ _

__“Bones.”_ _

__“Hey.” I smile._ _

__He hugs me tight._ _

__I pat his back._ _

__“How are you feeling?” He asks leaning back to look at me._ _

__“Better.”_ _

__“Good. I’m glad.”_ _

__He puts an arm around my shoulder and leads me to my couch._ _

__“You freaked me out. I’ve never seen you break down like that.”_ _

__“I’ve never felt like that. I just couldn’t control it.”_ _

__I look at Spock who is still standing._ _

__His eyes study my face._ _

__“Spock, have a seat. Join us.” Jim says._ _

__“I must decline. I promised Nyota I would meet her.”_ _

__Apprehension churns in my belly at the thought of him leaving but I force it down._ _

__“Thanks for stopping by.” I tell him._ _

__He inclines his head._ _

__“If you need me, please do not hesitate to ask for my presence.”_ _

__I nod not trusting myself to say anything else._ _

__I might ask him to stay with me. Forever._ _

__I bite my lip._ _

__He turns and leaves._ _

__I force myself to look away from the space he had just vacated._ _

__Jim touches my arm and I look at him._ _

__“Tell me what the fuck happened to you on that ship.”_ _

__“Is this an official request?”_ _

__“Yeah. I don’t want you to have to retell the whole story again.”_ _

__“Kind of you.”_ _

__“It’s just the kind of guy I am.” He says bumping his shoulder with mine._ _

__I smile._ _

__“Sure, kid. Whatever you say.”_ _

__**************************_ _

__Spock POV_ _

__I ignore the look in Leonard’s eyes and my own sudden urge to kiss him and I force myself to walk out._ _

__I make my way to Nyota’s quarters._ _

__I press the chime on her door._ _

__She opens the door and I walk in._ _

__“Spock.”_ _

__She puts her arms around me._ _

__I grasp her arms and pull her away._ _

__“What’s the matter?”_ _

__I can feel Leonard asking me to come back._ _

__I force myself not to answer the call._ _

__“I must speak with you.”_ _

__“Alright. Have a seat. Would you like anything to drink?”_ _

__“No, thank you.”_ _

__I take a seat and she comes to sit beside me._ _

__“What do you want to talk about?”_ _

__“I must inform you that I have created a temporary bond with Doctor McCoy.”_ _

__“What?”_ _

__“It is exactly as I have previously stated.”_ _

__“I don’t understand why you would do that. You told me that bonds were only created between family and mates.”_ _

__“Doctor McCoy was suffering from a broken bond.”_ _

__“How?”_ _

__“He was transported aboard an alternate version of our ship. My alternate self forced the Doctor to bond with him. My theory is that the bond was created as a way to keep the Doctor under control.”_ _

__“But-”_ _

__“It was the only viable option. He would have died long before we reached New Vulcan. I assure you that our bond is only temporary.”_ _

__“How can you be sure?”_ _

__“I do not understand.”_ _

__“How do you know that it is temporary? If you have repaired the broken bond with him, one that your alternate self created, how do you know the healers will be able to break it without hurting you or him?”_ _

__I did not have an answer so I say nothing._ _

__“So now what? Are you telling me that if the bond can’t be broken then you and Len will get married?”_ _

__There was no need to speculate about what would happen once we reached New Vulcan._ _

__“I felt it was prudent that I share this information with you.”_ _

__“Gee, thanks for thinking of me after the fact.”_ _

__“You are upset.”_ _

__“Of course I’m upset! What if I went and shared myself with another man?”_ _

__The thought, surprisingly, does not make me jealous._ _

__“Doctor McCoy’s and my relationship is not sexual in nature.”_ _

__“That is not what I meant. You are sharing your mind with him. In the time I’ve been with you I feel like I’m barely even scratching the surface with you, Spock. And without even asking for it, without even wanting it, you are sharing your thoughts and feelings with him. With him! It bothers me that you didn’t consult this with me and that it was so easy for you to make this decision.”_ _

__“I did not make this decision lightly. And precisely because he did not ask for it is why I chose to help McCoy. His mind was broken and even though it was not I who cause the harm, I do feel partially responsible. Would you rather I let him die?”_ _

__“Of course not.”_ _

__“I am merely helping him while we reach New Vulcan.”_ _

__“So are you saying that the mind meld means nothing to you? This doesn’t change our relationship?”_ _

__Vulcan’s do not lie and yet I find myself not being completely truthful._ _

__It would serve no purpose to cause Nyota more emotional distress._ _

__“At the present time, no it does not.”_ _

__She sighs._ _

__“Alright. I can’t blame you for helping Leonard. He’s my friend and I wouldn’t want to see him suffer when you can offer the help he needs. Just promise that you will tell me if anything does change.”_ _

__“I give you my word.”_ _

__“Good.”_ _

__She stands and I follow suit._ _

__She rises on her toes, her face expectant._ _

__I find myself hesitating for a moment before leaning forward to press my lips to hers._ _

__The action never satisfied me or gave me any sort of comfort._ _

__Pressing our mouths together was more for her benefit than mine._ _

__She pats my chest._ _

__“Okay. I promised Christine I would join her in the rec room for a game of cards. Will you come by later?”_ _

__“I have experiments that need my attention.”_ _

__“Okay.”_ _

__Twenty point eight minutes later I sit in my lab staring down at the samples before me._ _

__I find myself unable to give them my full attention._ _

__I stand and make my way to Leonard’s quarters._ _

__It was late, he might be resting._ _

__I open my link with him._ _

__I can feel his severe discomfort._ _

__I press the chime on his door._ _

__The door opens and I step inside._ _

__The heat inside his room is similar to the temperature of my room._ _

__“Leonard?”_ _

__He’s sitting close to his bed, on the floor._ _

__Though he has two thermal blankets around his form he is still shivering violently._ _

__I kneel down beside him._ _

__“S-spock.”_ _

__I touch his forehead and he leans in to my touch._ _

__His skin was cold._ _

__“Perhaps it would be best for you to go to sickbay.”_ _

__“No! I’m fine. Just help me get into bed.”_ _

__Against my better judgment I accept his decision._ _

__“Very well.”_ _

__I grasp his elbow and help him stand._ _

__He sways and his knees do not seem to be cooperating._ _

__He grasps my hand in his and a jolt goes through me._ _

__My body shivers and I suppress my gasp._ _

__He stumbles and I put my arm around his waist to keep him upright._ _

__“Fuck.”_ _

__The level of his sorrow is rising again._ _

__I curl my fingers over his._ _

__His shoulders shake with mirthless laughter._ _

__“Leonard?”_ _

__He looks at me._ _

__“I never thought I’d be telling you this but I need you to stay.”_ _

__“I will assist you in any way I can.”_ _

__“Yeah? Well, in that case. I need you to lie down beside me.”_ _

__He caresses my knuckles with his fingertips and a surge of arousal goes through me._ _

__I repress the emotion._ _

__I incline my head._ _

__He releases my hand and removes the blankets from around his person before getting into bed._ _

__He holds out his trembling hand towards me._ _

__I remove my shoes and uniform shirt before taking his hand and climbing in beside him._ _

__He puts his arms around me._ _

__I am overcome with a rush of affection and I close my eyes._ _

__He shivers against me._ _

__I place my hands on his back and he sighs, his shivering tampering off._ _

__“Thank you.” He says quietly._ _

__“Thanks are not necessary.”_ _

__“I hope you’re still singing that tune in the morning.”_ _

__My lips quirk against my will._ _


	7. Chapter 7

I press myself against Spock’s side and kick the blankets off of me.

“Why is it so hot in here?”

“I will turn down the temperature.”

“No!” I throw my leg over his. “Don’t go. Just leave it.”

His hand is a heavy weight on my back.

I snuggle closer.

“Leonard, simply ask the computer to turn down the temperature.”

I can feel myself blushing.

“Right. Computer, reduce temperature by twenty degrees.”

We are silent.

I can feel his heart beating against my stomach.

I close my eyes.

“I must report for duty in-”

“Then shut up and let me fall back asleep. Otherwise I am not letting you leave.”

“Very well.”

I rub my cheek against his chest.

“Spock.”

“Yes?”

“Before you leave make sure to turn the temperature back up.”

“I still believe it would be best if you reported to sickbay.”

“It is not a physical ailment that plagues me and you know it.”

“While that may be true, I believe it would benefit you if you are to be monitored. Your body cannot handle the internal fluctuation of temperature on its own.”

“That’s why I have you. Don’t I?”

I hold my breath waiting for his answer.

His hands caress my back.

“Indeed you do.”

I smile.

“Good.”

****************************

“Don’t you go looking for him. He can’t help you. Just give it some time.” 

I sigh.

God damn it.

I press the blankets tighter around me.

“You’re fine, Leonard. Don’t you move from this spot.”

I pace back and forth.

I look at the door before turning away.

My body hurt from all the shaking.

It was no use.

There was no other way.

I drop the blankets and leave my room.

I make my way to the science labs and thankfully there was only one person there.

I make my way towards the bent figure.

“Spock.” My teeth chatter.

He looks at me.

“Leonard.”

I press myself against his back, the heat of his body instantly warming me.

I sigh into the back of his head.

I know I was probably freaking him out but I couldn’t stop myself from being so close to him.

“I do not believe this to be appropriate behavior.”

“Tell that to my shivering body.”

He stands and turns to look at me.

I plaster myself to his front before he can say anything.

“Besides, it’s not what you say when we wake up in bed together.”

“That is different.”

He puts his hands on my shoulders.

He wasn’t pushing me away so I guess that was something.

I close my eyes.

“I don’t know why I feel like this. It wasn’t this way with him.”

I get a hint of anger through our link.

His hands press me closer and he leans his head against mine.

My shaking subsides and I breathe a sigh of relief.

“The shivering is an effect from the broken bond.”

“Can’t you do anything about it?”

“I cannot.”

“Can’t or won’t?”

I feel him sigh.

He pushes me back and I look at him.

“Leonard, the bond I created is only temporary. It is not the kind of bond you had with my alternate counterpart. I am merely keeping the severe effects at bay until the healers can close said bond.”

“And?”

“If I attempt to repair the damage done to you by the other Spock…it is not possible unless we form a formal bond.”

“Get married you mean. The way I did with….”

“Precisely. I will not force you into a bond the way he did.”

I put my arms around myself.

“You won’t be forcing me though, will you? Because you’re not threatening to mind fuck me until I do what you want.”

Even now when I say it, I do not feel hate.

Only affection.

His eyes darken and murderous rage makes its way through our link.

Fear grips my heart for a second.

“Indeed I am not.”

I nod.

“Then the only question we need to ask is: do you want to?”

“I do not believe that to be the best course of action.”

It hurts to hear him deny me what I want.

Of what I need.

“Well, then. I guess that’s that.”

“Doctor, I believe it is imperative that I inform you that the feelings you felt for my counterpart are not real.”

How dare he?

“Of course they’re real!”

“They are not.”

“What do you know about feelings anyways? You’re a goddamn machine!”

“And was he not a machine as well?”

“Of course not! He felt things. He was human and perfectly flawed and stupid. He was…is…was…” My heart felt like it was going to leap out of my chest.

I turn away.

I wipe at my eyes angrily.

“He loved me.”

I feel Spock come closer.

“You know as well as I do that it was not you who he loved.”

I close my eyes.

“Me, the other Leonard. What does it matter? We’re all the same.”

“Then by your definition, Ambassador Spock, alternate Spock and I are the same.”

I look at him.

“Well? Are we?”

I break out into a sweat and all I can feel is anger.

Who the hell did this pointy eared bastard think he was?

“Don’t twist my words around. It’s not what I meant and you know it.”

“Are we or are we not one and the same?” He demands.

“You weren’t there. You don’t know, you didn’t see! He loves me and I love him. And I don’t need your help.”

“On the contrary, if it weren’t for my help you would have perished six days ago.”

“You’re loving this aren’t you? You want me to need you, to want you! You like seeing me in pain!”

I grab the petri dish and throw it at his head.

I miss his pointy eared head but I catch his shoulder.

It felt good.

I grab anything I can and throw it at him.

He grabs my arms in a vice grip and I fight it.

“You will cease your actions!”

“Fuck you Spock, I don’t have to do anything you say! You’re not him; you’re not my husband!”

“He is not your husband and I forbid you from referring to him as such.”

I try to break his hold.

“I can call him whatever the fuck I want. What are you going to do about it?”

“Leonard. I have no wish to cause you any damage. Please stop fighting.”

I struggle harder.

He places his hand near my neck.

“You son of a-”

***************************

Spock POV

I catch Leonard’s body as he falls unconscious and I lay him on the floor before moving to the intercom.

“Spock to Captain Kirk.”

“Kirk here.”

“Captain, your presence is required in Science Lab 3.”

“Are you alright?”

“I am well.”

“I’ll be right there.”

I place a call to sickbay.

“Spock to Doctor M’Benga.”

“M’Benga here, Mister Spock.”

“Please bring a stretcher to Science Lab 3.”

“What’s happened?”

“It is Doctor McCoy.”

“I’ll be right there.”

I kneel down beside Leonard.

I take his hands and place them on his chest.

I cannot help myself from squeezing his fingers with mine.

His fingers twitch under my ministrations.

_Leonard._

_Parted from me and never parted. Never and always touching and touched, my darling Spock. ___

__Strong emotions wash over me like a sandstorm and my breath hitches in my throat._ _

__I squeeze my eyes shut._ _

__The doors open and I remove my hands from Leonard’s._ _

__I blink my eyes._ _

__Jim kneels beside the Doctor’s body._ _

__“What happened?”_ _

__“He became rather hostile when I refused to create a formal bond with him. I thought it best to render him unconscious.”_ _

__He looks up at me._ _

__“Is he going to be alright?”_ _

__“I do not know.”_ _

__“We’re still six days from New Vulcan.”_ _

__Doctor M’Benga and his team enter._ _

__He immediately does a scan of Leonard._ _

__“I believe it would be best to keep Doctor McCoy unconscious until we arrive.” I say._ _

__“Do you think that’s a good idea?”_ _

__“It would keep him from causing himself any harm.”_ _

__“Doctor?” Jim asks._ _

__“We can keep him mildly sedated so that he is more docile and cooperative. I do not think that there is a need to keep him unconscious for a long period of time.”_ _

__It was a good idea but it would not work._ _

__“Mister Spock?” Jim says._ _

__“I do not believe that a mild sedative will keep Doctor McCoy in control. His emotions are strong. He will burn out the sedative in his system rapidly.”_ _

__“But how? He is just a human and more susceptible to-”_ _

__“In case you have forgotten, Doctor, Leonard is suffering from a broken bond. He is reacting the way a Vulcan would in this situation. Therefore, a mild sedative will not do him any good.”_ _

__Jim sighs._ _

__“Alright. We have to trust Spock in this. I want you to keep Bones sedated until we arrive to New Vulcan.”_ _

__“Yes, Captain.”_ _


	8. Chapter 8

A hand lightly caresses my face.

I blink my eyes open.

Warm brown eyes smile down at me.

“Ambassador.”

“Leonard McCoy. I have missed you, my friend.”

I sit up.

“Where am I?”

“You are on New Vulcan.”

“But I was just aboard the Enterprise. I was…” I was drawing a blank. “I don’t remember.”

“Understandable. You have been unconscious for six days.”

“Unconscious? Why?”

“You became very hostile.”

“Did I hurt anyone?”

“No. Your anger was directed solely towards Commander Spock.”

Spock.

“Is he alright?”

“He is well.”

Thank god.

“Good.”

He cocks his head.

“My younger counterpart had filled me in on your predicament.”

“Yeah?”

“Indeed. In my timeline, we also came across the problem you experienced.”

“Really?”

He nods.

“As I recall it was Jim, Leonard, Nyota and Mister Scott who were transported to the parallel universe. Their counterparts were transported to our own Enterprise. Jim figured that their counterparts happened to be transporting aboard their own vessel when the power surge hit both Enterprises which resulted in their transposition.”

“So alternate Jim and I were alive.”

“That is correct.”

“What happened?”

“From what Leonard later told me, my alternate counterpart initiated a mind meld with him.”

Strange that both alternate Spock’s chose to mind meld with us.

“And?”

“He never told me, I suppose because he himself never knew, but after the mind meld my alternate version decided to help them return to their own timeline.”

“So he changed sides.”

“Yes.”

“And did you ever wonder why?”

“I did but I was never able to come up with a plausible reason. There were many factors at play. Perhaps he was weary of their ways.”

“Maybe.”

“I take it from your surprise that the same thing happened to you?”

“Not so much.”

“If I may, I would like share a memory with you.”

“Okay.”

He places his fingers over my meld points and I close my eyes.

_The Enterprise._

_Jim’s sitting in the Captain chair and I’m standing beside him._

_“What I don’t understand is how you were able to identify our counterparts so easily.” Jim says._

_Amusement._

_Jim and I look at him expectantly._

_“It’s far easier for you as civilized men to behave like barbarians than for barbarians to behave like civilized men.”_

_I smile at Spock before looking at Jim._

_“Jim, I think I liked him better with a beard. It gave him character. Of course, almost any change would be a distinct improvement.”_

_Jim and I chuckle._

_Feeling mischievous._

_“May I point out that I had an opportunity to observe your counterparts here quite closely? They were brutal, savage, unprincipled, uncivilized, and treacherous. In every way splendid examples of Homo sapiens. The very flower of humanity. I found them to be quite refreshing.”_

_Jim and I are confused. Not sure if we’ve just been insulted._

_Smugness. ___

__I open my eyes and look at Spock._ _

__He smiles back._ _

__I grab his wrist before he can remove his hand._ _

__He frowns a bit._ _

__I show him what happened to me aboard the other Enterprise._ _

__His frown becomes more pronounced._ _

__This time when he withdraws his hand I let him._ _

__“Leonard.” He says placing his hands on my shoulders._ _

__His eyes are so understanding and compassionate that it makes my heart hurt._ _

__I hug him._ _

__He folds his arms around me._ _

__I press my forehead to his shoulder._ _

__“All will be well, my friend. Soon your bond with that Spock will be closed and you will feel yourself once more.”_ _

__I lean back so that I can look at him._ _

__His hand wipes away my tears._ _

__“What if I don’t want him gone?”_ _

__“He is already gone.”_ _

__I shake my head._ _

__“I mean my Spock.”_ _

__Realization dawns on his face._ _

__“Ah.”_ _

__“He says my feelings aren’t real and maybe they’re so strong because of the other Spock but I feel in my heart that I…I love him.”_ _

__“Leonard.” He whispers._ _

__I squeeze my eyes shut._ _

__He takes my hands in his._ _

__“Perhaps our alternate counterpart, accidently or purposely, made you realize something that you might not have ever had you not been transported aboard that Enterprise.”_ _

__I look at him._ _

__“Maybe. Spock always, always, has roused this fierce passion in me. Not romantically, it was more like rage. But he’s always the source. I have never experienced such emotional turmoil as I do with him. And I don’t know why he always elicits such a reaction from me. I’ve tried to analyze it and put it in perspective but I can’t. There is no reason for it and yet it exists.”_ _

__“Perhaps it is because when it comes to Spock you are illogically passionate about anything and everything he says and does.”_ _

__“Maybe.”_ _

__“I would suggest that you speak with him about this.”_ _

__“I can’t.”_ _

__“Yes, you can.”_ _

__“He’s with Nyota. He loves her. Besides, he’s already rejected me once. I would rather not put myself out there again.”_ _

__He cups my face in his hands and I place mine over his._ _

__“Leonard McCoy is not a coward.”_ _

__“You don’t know. You might have screwed the timeline up so badly that you’ve made me a yellow belly.”_ _

__He laughs and I smile._ _

__“I am glad that you have trusted me with this. And I apologize for what my alternate self put you through.”_ _

__“It’s not your fault.”_ _

__“Still. I apologize.”_ _

__I nod._ _

__We stare at each other._ _

__He might be old but he still had that spark in his eyes._ _

__That look that was inherent of all the Spock’s._ _

__I lean forward and press my mouth to his._ _

__He is hesitant at first but he responds to my second kiss._ _

__I put my hands on his shoulders and he slides his hands down my neck to my waist._ _

__I press closer._ _

__“Doctor.”_ _

__I jump and look at the doorway._ _

__Spock glares back._ _

__“The healers are ready to begin.”_ _

__He sends a dark look to old Spock before closing the door._ _

__I look at Ambassador Spock._ _

__He smiles._ _

__“Forgive me my friend.”_ _

__“I feel like I’m the one who should be apologizing. I just jumped on you.”_ _

__“I could have stopped you.”_ _

__“Are you kidding me? I’m in my prime and there was no way you could have resisted my southern charm.”_ _

__He chuckles._ _

__“Let us agree that we are both at fault.”_ _

__“Okay.”_ _

__“Go on. Don’t keep the elders waiting.”_ _

__“Will I see you afterwards?”_ _

__“If you wish.”_ _

__I nod._ _

__“Thanks. For everything.”_ _

__He inclines his head._ _

__“No need to thank me, my friend.”_ _

__“Alright.”_ _


	9. Chapter 9

I catch up to Spock.

He doesn’t even look at me.

Well.

He could act like a giant baby if he wanted to.

I didn’t have to apologize to him for making out with the other Spock.

I’d been married to a Spock for three months and it’s not like I had to apologize for that either.

Besides, it’s not like my Spock wanted me.

I bet he couldn’t wait to get rid of our temporary bond so that he could go back to banging Nyota.

I swallow down the jealousy that rises in me.

“So. Where are we going?”

“To the great hall.”

“Great.”

He stops and spins to look at me suddenly.

“Whoa.”

“Why were you kissing him?”

I square my shoulders.

“Because I wanted to.”

“That is not an appropriate response.”

“Oh, fuck you Spock.”

“You will tell me.”

“Or what?”

He purses his lips.

“Yeah. That’s what I thought. Now let’s get this show on the road so that you can go back to your girlfriend.”

I brush past him.

He grabs my arm and I turn to look at him.

“If this is your way of retaliating against me for not wanting to form a bond with you-”

I guess it was exactly that.

“And if I was?”

“I must say that it is a rather childish and inappropriate way of-”

“Spare me your lectures.” I remove my arm from his hold. “Now, come on.”

He follows.

I glace at him.

His face is frostier than ever.

I clear my throat.

“We have arrived.” He says standing beside the door.

“Aren’t you going to come in?”

“No. My presence is not necessary.”

“But-”

“Your bond with my alternate self will be closed. Tomorrow, once you are rested, I will remove the bond I have with you.”

My stomach twists at the thought.

“Okay.”

I look at him before walking into the room.

The elder Vulcan’s in the room look at me.

“Welcome, Leonard McCoy.” A female says.

“Thank you.”

“I am T’Pau.”

“Pleased to meet you, ma’am.”

“We have been assessed of your situation and I can heal your broken bond if you are amiable.”

“I am.”

“Very well. Please, lie down.”

She motions to bed standing in the center of the room.

I make my way over and lie down.

My stomach was in knots and my heart was beating rapidly.

She comes and stands by my head.

“I will enter your mind now. Just relax.”

Better said than done.

I close my eyes and I try to relax my tense muscles.

She touches my meld points and I feel her slide into my mind.

She begins to rifle through my memories and I tense again.

“Do not fight me. I will not harm you.”

I take a deep breath and relax my clenched hands.

She removes her hand and I open my eyes.

She stares down at me.

“Is it done?”

I didn’t feel anything.

“I must apologize. It seems there has been a mistake.” She says.

I sit up and look at her.

“What kind of mistake?”

“You are not suffering from a broken bond.”

“What?”

“Indeed. What ails you is a bond that has not been fully formed.”

What was she even talking about?

“There must be some kind of mistake.”

“There is no mistake. If you wish to remove the unfinished bond then I will need both of you to be present.”

“Both? That’s not possible. He’s not here.”

“Then we will wait until tomorrow. Decide if you wish to keep the bond or be rid of it.”

“You misunderstand. The bond was formed with a Vulcan that exists only in an alternate reality.”

“It is you who misunderstands, Doctor McCoy. The only bond present is that between you and my grandson Spock.”

“Spock.” I repeat.

“That is correct.”

She wasn’t making any sense.

“I’m gonna be honest with you now and don’t take this the wrong way but what the hell are you talking about lady?”

****************************

Spock POV

“Hey. You’re back early. Where’s Len?”

“He is still down on the planet.”

“You just left him there?”

“My presence was not required.”

“Still.”

“He is in no danger.”

“Are you sure?”

I look at Nyota.

“I am positive.”

“What about the bond you formed with him?”

I could not assure her that the bond would be broken as I was not sure I wanted to have it removed.

“I must speak with you in private.”

“Alright.”

I follow her to her quarters.

She looks at me.

“I promised to inform you if things changed.”

“That’s right.”

Expressing my thoughts at this moment was difficult.

I was still picturing Leonard and Ambassador Spock in an ardent embrace.

I cross my arms behind my back.

“Things are different.”

“What do you mean?”

“I find myself experiencing emotions towards Doctor McCoy.”

“Romantic feelings?”

“That is correct.”

She sits down.

“How do you know it’s not transference from the bond he had with the other Spock?”

“They are not echoes of what Leonard feels. The emotions are coming solely from me.”

“But you once told me that he was an unbalanced human you would rather not associate with.”

I tamper down the twitch of my lips.

Smiling would be construed negatively in this situation.

“That is correct.”

“So why do you all of a sudden feel love for him?”

“I do not know.”

“You don’t know?”

Irritation rises in me.

“I just said as much.”

She sighs angrily.

“So what then? You’re breaking up with me?”

“That would be the best course of action.”

“But…”

“Forgive me, Nyota. I do not wish to cause you any emotional pain.”

“It’s too late for that, Spock.”

“I hope that we will be able to continue a professional relationship.”

“Please leave.”

“Very well.”

I walk out of her room and make my way to the lift.

The doors open and I stand face to face with Leonard.

Jim is standing beside the Doctor.

I cross my arms behind my back.

“Doctor, I was unaware that you had returned. How do you feel?”

“How do I feel?” Leonard asks stepping out of the lift.

I am forced to take a few steps back to give him enough room.

“That is what I asked, yes.”

“Bones.” Jim says grabbing the Doctor’s arm.

My skin prickles as Jim’s hand makes contact with Leonard’s arm.

“You have some nerve!” Leonard says jabbing a finger in my direction.

“Bones.”

“I do not understand.”

“I bet you don’t. Where do you get off saying you don’t want a bond with me when you’ve already put one in place?”

I frown at him.

“You were aware of the bond, Doctor.”

“You said it was a temporary bond.”

“Indeed.”

“That’s not what your grandma told me.” 

“Then there must be some mistake.”

“Yeah, there’s a mistake. Let me remedy that.”

The slap catches me off guard.

My cheek stings for a few seconds.

I look at Leonard.

“Bones!”

He glares at me.

“Remember that next time you feel like keeping important shit from me.”

“Leonard-”

I reach out to touch his arm but he pushes it away before I can make contact.

“Don’t even think about coming to my room tonight! No, sir.”

He gets back on the lift, sending me one final glare before the doors close.

I look at Jim.

“Well.” He says clearing his throat.

“I am at a loss as to what has transpired.”

“You’re not the only one.”

He sighs and I stare at the lift doors.

“So. You sneak into Bone’s room at night?”

I refrain from rolling my eyes.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fluff and a bit of sex ahead. 
> 
> Thank you for reading and accompanying me on this journey.

The chime on the door goes off for the fifth time.

I pull the pillow over my head.

“Go away!”

If he thinks he’s getting in here then boy is he mistaken.

Damn overgrown jack rabbit.

“Leonard.”

I sit up quickly and glare at the hobgoblin.

“How the hell did you get in here?”

“The same way I did the last time.”

“Don’t you give me any attitude, you bastard! I have the right to be mad at you.”

“If you would clarify as to the reason you are upset then perhaps I may apologize for whatever transgression I have made against you.”

“Don’t stand there pretending you don’t know.”

“Precisely why I do not know is why I am asking.”

I stand and walk towards him.

“You formed a bond with me.”

“Yes.”

“A formal bond.”

“That is incorrect.”

“Your grandma told me I am not suffering from a broken bond but from a bond that has not been fully formed.”

“There must be some mistake.”

“Why don’t you go ask your Nana then?”

“Doctor McCoy.”

“Don’t you ‘Doctor’ me. Apparently we’re halfway to being married.”

“Leonard.”

“Spock. You know that this is what I want. I…I love you.”

He glances away before looking back at me.

“I find myself experiencing romantic feelings for you.”

Relief floods through me.

I walk closer to him.

He holds up at hand.

“However, I have yet to be convinced that your feelings are not based on transference.”

“How about your feelings?”

“My feelings are not in question.”

“So you can believe that you suddenly love me but you can’t believe that I love you?”

“That is correct.”

“Boy. You have some issues.”

“Leonard.”

“I love you, alright? I don’t know why. Lord knows I’d be better off if I got rid of the damn bond. But I don’t want to. Alternate Spock made me realize a few things about myself, about our relationship. Do you ever wonder why it was so easy for him to form a bond with me? For him to make me feel so much so quickly?”

“I have not.”

“Well I have. The thoughts just circle round and round in my head. I didn’t love you when I was accidentally transported aboard the other Enterprise but you were important to me. Do you know that I actually collected plant and soil samples for you from the Halkan home world? I don’t know why. I just knew you would enjoy them so I got them. Sorry they didn’t make it back from the alternate reality by the way.”

“No apologies necessary.”

“You could still thank me. It’s the thought that counts you know?”

“Thank you, Leonard.”

“You’re welcome, ashayam.”

He opens his mouth before closing it.

“Did I say it wrong?”

“You did not.”

“Good.” I nod.

“Leonard.” He takes a few steps closer. “I fear that one day you will realize that you really do not love me. That you do not want the bond.”

“No one knows what the future holds. It’s why it’s the future. But I know right now, at this moment, that I love you with all that I am. I need you and I want you. If you say no then I won’t force you to complete the bond. We will get rid of it and forget it was ever there. We’ll just go back to the way we used to be.”

“I have no wish to return to the hostile relationship we had.”

I smile.

“Neither do I. As much as I’m going to miss it, I would rather have adult snuggle sessions with you than fight.”

He raises an eyebrow.

“Adult snuggle sessions?”

“Oh yeah. Believe it or not, you are very good at it.”

Boy had he been good at it.

I shiver just to remember those hot finger tips on my body.

His eyes darken and I feel anger and jealousy through our link.

I move closer and he doesn’t stop me this time.

I place my hands on his chest, his dark eyes watching me.

“Well? Aren’t you going to declare your love?”

“I believe I already did.”

“You need to say the words.”

“I…”

“Yes?”

He takes my hands in his.

“I love you, Leonard McCoy.”

I smile back at him.

“You know, I told you I love you three times.”

“Oh?”

“You’re behind by two.”

“There are plenty of other ways to say it, tal-kam.”

“Oh yeah?”

I brush my lips against his.

His hands slide down my back and I shiver.

“Indeed.”

“Then show me.”

His hard demanding kiss steals my breath and I hold on to his shoulders to keep myself upright.

I moan and his hands press me closer.

I pull his science blue shirt off before grabbing his face and kissing him again.

He slides his hands under my black shirt, his hot hands make me shiver with want.

“Please, Spock.”

He places his fingers over my meld points and I am flooded with memories and feelings.

His mind and his heart were open to me.

“I love you.” I say kissing his face. “I love you.”

He kisses my knuckles before kissing my mouth again.

I walk us back towards the bed.

He pushes me down onto the mattress before climbing on top of me.

I throw my leg over the back of his thigh.

He removes my black shirt before his mouth descends on my shoulder.

He licks and nips his way to my neck and I moan.

“I want you.” I gasp.

“And I you.”

He sits up and removes his shirt.

I place my hands on his chest before sliding them down towards his pants.

He presses his lips to mine again before his hands make quick work of my pants.

I slide his pants and underpants down over his ass before pressing him down over me.

His hand slides down into my pants and cups me over my underwear.

I moan into his mouth.

“Oh god yes, Spock.”

I grasp his cock in my hand and I feel him shudder against me.

“I need to see you.” He says removing my pants and underwear.

He takes the time to also divest himself of his own pants.

He lies down over me again and I shiver as his hot body presses me down into the mattress.

I liked the feel of his weight on me.

I place my leg over his thigh and pull him closer.

I suck his tongue into my mouth.

His hands caress down my arms before reaching down to push my legs open.

“Fuck yes.”

I nip his ear and me growls low in his throat.

“I need to feel you in me.” I gasp as he nips at my neck.

“It would be my pleasure.” 

He reaches down between us and takes both our cocks in his hand.

Shit.

His hand is so hot.

I move against him setting a fast pace.

He tightens his hand around our members.

I lightly scratch my nails down his back and he moans.

It was hot as hell to hear him make that sound.

“I have....lube.” I pant.

“No need. I will just use your seed to prepare you.”

I moan.

Spock and dirty talk.

Not sure I could survive this.

“Lieutenant Savas to Commander Spock.”

Fucking hell.

Not again.

Spock looks down at me before moving to get up.

“Don’t you dare.” I warn.

“It would be rude of me not to respond. It could be an emergency.”

“This is an emergency. I need you.”

“Lieutenant Savas to Commander Spock. Commander Spock, please respond.”

I sigh angrily before releasing Spock.

“How in the fuck do they know you’re here anyways?”

“They must have located me on the computer.”

“I hate computers.”

He moves to the comm unit.

At least I could ogle his naked ass.

“Commander Spock here.”

“Mister Spock, your presence is required in Science Lab 6. There was been an incident with the organic compounds obtained from Gamma Triangulay 6.”

“Very well. I shall be there-”

Oh no he wasn’t.

He wasn’t just going to walk out of here and leave me like this.

I send him images of Alternate Spock and myself having rough hot sex.

He turns, his eyes dark with desire and jealousy.

“Commander Spock?”

“I shall be there in twenty minutes. Spock out.”

He stalks back towards me.

I open my thighs invitingly.

Fucking hell, I was a whore for Spock.

Who would have thought?

He climbs over me and takes my mouth in a hard and biting kiss.

“I will force the memories you have of that impostor out of your mind.”

Don’t know if it was a threat or a promise but I was game.

“Do it then. Make me forget his touch.”

“Gladly.”

*****************************

I snuggle down against Spock.

“You’re late you know.”

He kisses my head.

“I still have 46.5 seconds.”

I snort.

“And do you think you can make it to the Science lab in that time?”

“I do not. However, had it been a real emergency then I am sure the scientists would have been wise enough to call the decontamination team.”

“Well, in that case.”

I tighten my arms around him.

His hand lightly caresses my back.

“Leonard.”

“Hmm?”

“I love you.”

I smile.

“I love you too Spock.”

“I ascertained as much from the way you said it over and over while we made love.”

I pinch his side.

_Smug bastard. ___

__“Indeed.” He says and I can hear the smile in his voice._ _

__His fingers tickle my spine and damn him if it wasn’t making me want him again._ _

__I shake my head._ _

__“Oh god. What in the hell have I gotten myself into?”_ _

__He chuckles._ _

__The End._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tal-kam: dear


End file.
